OK, so this is a bit more readable than what I just posted, so here's my fucking thought of the day for you:
words destroy you. That's the idea behind this journal. Words are too strong. They overbalance things. My mother's family thinks talking about everything makes it better, but it just makes things more strange.
When you give something a word you invest it with the alien properties of that word. If you really want to express something important, do it with a gesture. You can say the most beautiful thing and it is still nothing compared to what's there in your eyes already. Sometimes you can say exactly the right thing, and it's the worst thing that can happen. "I'm sorry for your loss."
We don't realise how powerful language is because it's everywhere. We can't see how it shatters things and then reforms them into constructs, or groups a billion separate things under a single term. It's so powerful that it becomes trivial to us, like the concept of infinity. If there was a gesture that signified love, it would brutally reduce it. It's the same with the word. We shouldn't have a word for love or need to define it. The word love can vitiate a relationship or one can say it casually of a film. Words shatter You and make You into a Friendly Calm Relaxed Person.
I try and create a facade for myself with words. Not just words, but all of the money I spend goes into my facade. It's the same with you. Your house, your clothes. The clothes need words, which are free, to justify their expense. Equally the things you worked so hard to pay for can only truly be reduced by the things that cost nothing, like opinions. Repo men can take your house, but a thousand of them could never take your pride - which is the real house, the thing you live in all the time. Four words can, however. So this Self, that we created with words, is perpetually destroyed by that which it consists of. The only true things in themselves are the wordless, like animals. The self, if it exists, lies in spontaneity of gesture. The final paradox, then: words are too powerful, but they can say nothing important - the most scintillating thought will never break human skin. 3 billion people are looking at each other absently, and there is more in their faces than a library of books. Sit back and watch this entry eat itself.