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Thursday, 15 July 2010

There's this woman who works with us called Lisa. She has a gentle Jamaican voice and intelligent eyes. She also wears a lot of make-up, and this to go to work in a factory.

Jo said to me today, "You work hard, I give you that woman" and the others laughed their heads off. Yesterday, Mohammed said to me, "Jo gave me Lisa, I said take her back".

Lisa: graceful, amusing, kind, ugly. She gets along well with them, not knowing that she's the butt of their jokes. They even flirt with her carelessly. Perhaps that's why she tries so hard.

This post is expressing the tragedy of ugly women. There is less of an equivalent with men, since women are naturally not as drawn to looks - among other reasons.

What angers me most of all is when I see the sort of woman who has every other gift acting demurely before a crude, stupid person, because she knows that she is ugly.

I find it sad that ugly women are usually friendly. It sometimes feels as if they have no other choice. I wish that society could see real ugliness: something that lies not in a nose but a glance.

But who am I kidding? I'd never go out with Lisa. This despite the fact that ugliness is the only flaw I don't possess, and perhaps the only one she does. I'm no better than the rest.

Witty ugly women often have a lot of male friends, of course. Sometimes they'll find an ugly partner, and as with my friend L he'll treat her badly because she won't leave him.

I swear to you now that I look at ugly women and see the face of the God I once believed in. I see them aged and ringless, carrying their shopping, and I hope, I just hope, that there's a heaven.


  1. Many ugly people find real love. And wearing a ring isn't the end all be all. Being married is a lot of hard work and not everyone can manage it.
    I'm sure all the ugly women of the world don't need your sympathy.
    The pretty people are just as f-cked up as everyone else.
    As always- you never bore me!

  2. Pretty people aren't as fucked up as everyone else. That's a myth. I know pretty people, and I know extremely ugly people, and I know who has it tougher. People like good-looking people more - it's a primal thing - and they're more likely to be successful, etc. My friend was really ugly, to the point of being weird-looking. And ... it affects you inside. You look a certain way, and people expect you to act it, and often it's hard not to.

    Of course ugly people can find love, but it's harder, and there IS a divide between the sexes. I know ugly funny guys with wonderful-looking girls on their arm, but very rarely an ugly woman with a handsome man. So I do believe that ugly women deserve my sympathy, not that they'd ever ask for it, but because they deserve it.

    My sister's boyfriend says he wouldn't have an ugly friend. Look around next time you're out on a Friday night - people go around with friends of their approximate looks. There should be a sign on the door of clubs saying, "no uglies". It used to be a smart person's world, but no longer. Look at the stars of today. You can get a job just for being beautiful. You're statistically more likely to be a boss if you're 6'. People who rate their looks higher are happier, more successful and have more friends. That's the simple truth.

  3. While I agree with much of what you're saying- I find it sad that as an intellectual- you would spend your time on it. If you feel sorry for Lisa- be her friend. Friends don't let other people crap on their friends. Take a stand. Don't just blog about how ugly people have it so tough. Unless you don't want to be associated with ugly people. Then my argument is wasted.

  4. Well- I posted my last comment in a hurry- went to eat dinner and decided I wanted to say something more.
    I think you enjoy a lively debate and I admit I get a kick out of listening to you. But - I'm not much of a debater- I just don't have the energy for it.
    Perhaps you could do a film piece combining your insights on commercial advertisements (on perfume or whatever) featuring someone ugly. Now that would be an interesting statement. Maybe have an ugly person eating chocolate. Who knows. I think you are smart enough to make an interesting statement- especially if you care on some level about the inequity of appearance.
    I suppose it's been done before- hasn't everything- but nothing currently on this sticks in my memory.
    I seem to remember Seinfeld doing a funny bit where he told Elaine that only 10% of the population was good looking- or something. During the sitcom, the lady he was dating kept going from being beautiful to ugly depending on where they met. It was funny- but didn't make any kind of social statement.
    Not sure if you're into social statements?
    Anyway- it's been an interesting discussion. And being the nerd I am- I hope you'll be nice to Lisa- and mean it.

  5. I do think that life is difficult when you stand out from the crowd in any way. The problem that beautiful people have, is that they can't be sure if they're appreciated for who they are. I have a very beautiful friend who has that problem. Men project their 'ideal woman' onto her, and are 'disappointed' when they find that she is very much herself. The 'ugly' become more beautiful as you get to know them, or so I think, and friendship is the best place to start a relationship from.

  6. PAMO: It was just a passing thought, not worth making a film about. I think I wrote this entry in the wrong way, in that it's not about pity so much as a sense of acute injustice.

    MM: I'd like to think that things balance themselves out, but they simply don't. Intelligence comes with some issues, but it's still preferable to being the opposite. It's much more useful having an IQ of 130 to 70. In fact it's a sickening thought, but there are probably some extremely intelligent physically beautiful people out there who are also nice and happy ...

    This was another dour entry, so here is what Roald Dahl had to say about looks, to cheer you both up:

  7. Although I love the word dour- I never find your writing so.
    Great cartoon!
    You might like this- completely unrelated to your blog post topic but still hilarious: