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Wednesday, 30 June 2010

I'm thinking of trying to get into one of those secret societies that may be trying to take over the world, like the Freemasons. Mainly, it is true, to fuck with the conspiracy theorists I know. Also, it would be nice to have a chunk of Canada if they manage it (I'll move the assholes out first). Some people think my friend T is crazy for wanting to take over the world, but anyone who doesn't secretly want to be ruler of the earth is a liar. At the very least I reckon I'd get some free shit. If they don't let me in then I'll pretend I'm a Freemason anyway - what are they gonna do, they're a fucking secret society. I'm pretty sure all of the homoerotic rites are fiction anyway. Pretty sure.


  1. If you joined the Knights of Columbus you'd get to wear a really kickass hat.

    I hate how all the cool conspiracy brotherhoods are... well... brotherhoods. Like they never got over sticking that "No Girls Allowed" sign on their treehouse.

  2. I think it's because women are too mature for such things.

  3. Have to agree about conspiracy theories. They're inevitable as soon as some or other society goes 'secret', and they are certainly exaggerated.

    As for the girls: we just hang out in tea-shoppes and talk in low tones over cups of something hot - no-one suspects us of plotting world domination, but the process is already well underway! Don't tell...

  4. How can you be too mature for a secret society that rules the world?!?!

    Eh, you're probably right though. Although apparently I haven't been invited to the women's tea-drinking world-domination club either. Maybe I'm just not conspirator material.